Thursday, February 26, 2009

Totally Creeped Out

OK, so I lied. In my last post, I lied. I said I would no longer display photos of other peoples children for comedic purposes but in this case I have to. This is probably why Karma bites me in the a** every other day. Has anyone seen either Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC or Little Miss Perfect on WE? Well, I have and I watch them with a morbid fascination. My nine year old (daughter),however, watches it with complete adoration for these girls,and it is totally Freaking Me Out!! A couple of years ago one of these "child beauty pageant" specials was on VH1 and I viewed it with both of my girls who were 7 and 10 at the time to show them just how "creepy" they were. Much to my utter dismay, they did not find them in the least little bit "creepy", and they thought they were the coolest things they had ever seen and they wanted to be in them!! Crap! It backfired! How could they not see the "EXTREME CREEPINESS" of a 5 year old with false teeth and hair and lashes and skin color!! It has been two years since my girls saw their first "pageant show" and my 12 year old has gotten over it (THANK GOD!!), but my nine year old is Obsessed!! She it totally in to it!! She practices her walk, rehearses her dance routine for the talent portion, curls her hair and works on her interview technique. She's good to go! She also asks me, almost on a daily basis, if I've checked into where we can enter her in one of these Freakshows!! I always say, "I'm working on it!" kind of like when my husband asks me if I've found a "real" full time job yet...Oh, and it has to be Glitz. For those of you not familiar with this term, it means they doll it up!! They wear more make-up than a kiddie drag show and twice as much sequins. The parents are real stagey-like and they throw around phrases like Pro-Am and Casual Wear. Practically everyone gets a crown and the winner usually gets 5-10 $100.00 bills, more often than not, in the shape of a fan. It's a riot! I would love to see one live and in person, strictly for entertainment, but not with my daughter AS A CONTESTANT!! How -OH- how do I make her see just how totally "creepy" (sorry I'm using that word so much but I just can't think of a better, more descriptive one) child beauty pageants are!! She REALLY wants to be in one! I never wanted to be the type of parent who would roll their eyes and squelch my daughters' dreams, but COME ON! I have two words...JON BENET...You know what though, I told her (my 9 YO) that story and she still doesn't care. I'm REALLY hoping this a phase that she will grow out of, but you never know, maybe someday she may almost become Vice President...

my aspiring Beauty Queen...oh the horror!!


Anonymous said...

Ditto - I hate those creepy beauty pagents and the insane mothers. Entertaining to watch though.

WishTrish said...

LOL! We had a girl on my street who competed in these things growing up. She always wanted the rest of us girls to join in the hullaballoo. Honestly, even though there was some tiny corner of me that wanted to know if I was "pretty enough," I never wanted it enough to ask my parents, who undoubtedly would have died from horror and shame, anyhow.

Years later, as an adult leader of a church youth group, I had a girl that was a beauty queen and travelled the country in order to keep her title. There were two bedrooms of this family's home that were nothing but gowns. The family room walls on three sides were lined with shelves and shelves of trophies and tiaras in glass cases. Some of the trophies were taller than me! Each year they donated dozens of them to the special olympics who removed her name and title to be recycled for their awesome cause. They had a special touring van made for their many roadtrips, and towed a trailer with gowns, make-up, shoes, and hairspray.

Oh, yes. Insanity.

susette said...

I'm coming over from Mormon Mommy Blogs, asking for your help. I am in the running for a round trip airfare paid ticket to Connecticut, to meet a friend I became acquainted with through blogging. She is a super fun person and is holding this contest. I entered a funny story titled "Grapejuice Floaties, Now Marry Me." The person whose story receives the most votes will win a trip to meet this generous lady, whom I'm hoping to meet. The voting ends tonight-midnight. I used to be ahead but there is a story coming up from behind out of nowhere, and it's a tight race now. I would so much appreciate your help. Her blog is and the voting is on the sidebar on the right. "Grapejuice, Floaties" Just go there and cast a vote for me, please. Thanks so much-you're awesome! ♥♥