Saturday, April 11, 2009

Happy Easter 09'








I know this is stupid, but I can’t believe it’s Easter! I feel like I just took down my Christmas Tree. It is officially Good Friday and I have no idea what we are doing on Easter Sunday. Lame. Totally lame. I am a Forty-one year old woman, I should have some sort of plan as to what to do on a holiday. I should have a menu. I should have an idea that it is coming. I should clean my house, and purchase a ham, and DECORATE, something… I should color Easter Eggs. I should bake Easter Bread. I should buy a floral dress to wear, Oh, wait, I did that (priorities…). My mom keeps asking me “What time should we be there on Sunday”? and I keep saying, “What’s Sunday”? Denial, it ain’t just a river in Egypt! It’s how I live my life. I have ignored Easter so long, I don’t know it’s coming. I have to get it together though, because I will have a houseful of company on Sunday expecting holiday food. So I have to deliver. How am I gonna do this? My mom is “makin’ manicotti (mannigott) and I am doing the ham…oy vey!! I hope I don’t F*&$@ It up. If I do, my mom will let me know. She has already baked taralle (toddalles) and coconut cupcakes that look like they came “straight out of a Martha Stewart layout” (actual quote from her)

and chocolate covered strawberries. I can’t compete, I don’t even try. That’s why I give up before I even put it in the oven. I know I will never get it right. No matter how awesome my ham comes, it will never get the props it deserves because it was not made by my mom. I know you are all saying, no, if it’s good she will say so. NOT TRUE! She will never give me a cooking compliment. It’s kinda crazy, actually. I could make the Best Meal On Earth and she would say, “yea, it was pretty good….” I think it kills her inside, just a little, when I make a great meal without a recipe. She (my mom) always asks, where did you get this recipe? And I always say. I kinda made it up from a bunch of different ones I read online. My mom is always horrified by the notion that I didn’t follow directions to the tee., and that I basically, wung (past tense of wing) (sp) it…That is why Easter is - On The Fly - this year. I have no head for recipes. I want to take a huge ham, throw it in my oven , and forget about it. I hope while it is cooking I can, clean my house, or at least my downstairs bathroom, have all four people showered, hair done, and cutely dressed (?), and set a fabulously springy dining table…. Then take some stuff, rub it on the ham and hit it with a mini blow-torch so it looks like it came from the “Honey Baked Ham Company”. Not hard, huh? I know women are doing it all over the world today, so it shouldn’t be. But why do I find it to be? The million dollar question…I guess if I could answer it, it wouldn’t be so hard. But it is, for me anyway. I guess I’m not cut out to be “domestic”. I would rather order than make. I don’t believe in the “made with love” adage. If you have the gift - go for it- if not - buy it. NO BIG DEAL. My mom is HORRIFIED!!! I know she taught me better than that, but you can’t teach this kind of stuff. Either you have it or you don’t , and apparently, I don’t. Don’t get me wrong, I can “cook” with the best of them, I just can’t chef. I have a problem with following recipes and menu plans and anything having to do with directions. I have no patience for it. I always leave something out. Either it’s an egg, or a tsp. of baking powder, or cream of tartar. And it’s always a key ingredient . Something that, if it’s missing will totally alter the final product! That’s why I hate to bake. Too much math. Too much science. Too much reliance on the person who is making it… Anyway, I will attempt Easter this year. I hope it goes OK. I’m sure it will make for a decent Blog Post if it doesn’t though. (Lookin’ on the bright side!!) Maybe Mom (WWMD) will even compliment my ham. (dreaming…) If not Happy Easter Anyway!!



3 comments:

KJ said...

It's Saturday morning and I haven't done anything for Easter yet either. I am sure your day will turn out beautiful. I don't "have it" either when it comes to being domestic all though I wish that were different. Oh well, I am fine with buying rather than making. Have a wonderful holiday.

Sheila Wilkerson - EzScrapbooks said...

Is that really a picture of your ham?! Mine was served on a Correll plate that Clark had before we got married! If that really is your ham you get props for presentation! Mazeltof (sp?)

mommyliz said...

This picture was put on here before my ham was even in my house! All of these food pictures are public domain internet photos! But my mom's cupcakes looked EXACTLY LIKE THE PICTURE (of course)!! My ham, not so much...